Not nice.

You shouldn't make bets about girls. It's not nice. And they find out. Because people like them more than they like you. I don't care how long ago it was. So now she knows and you're on her list. Don't worry, revenge won't be soon, it'll be when you don't expect it, and she'll be there, smiling. Fucker.

Sarah Kate has family envy

So here's the history...

Sarah Kate (my best friend in all the world, also known as SK8) is Irish. And that's cool and all, but it's kinda like being German (read: boring). And her family is lovely, I've met most of them, very nice people. Alas, she has met a portion (that's right kid, you haven't met nearly everyone) of my family and thinks she can just co-opt herself in. Here's the thing, shes got no camo for this, we're all Cuban, and not even the light-skinned, light-haired Cubans, most of us look like me (yeah I know, how can THAT many people be THAT good looking), so homegirl doesn't blend in at all. So you think, maybe she'll get in under the "I speak Spanish" cover...she took French for five years and has moved on to Italian. She has carved herself a niche though, calling my parents Mom and Dad, calling my grandparents Abuelo and Abuela, calling my aunts and uncles Tia and Tio. So ANYWAY, in all her brilliance on the phone today she once again displayed family envy. Here's the conversation:

Sarah: Psshht! I'd have to make sure someone worshipped me before subjecting them to something like my family's new year's eve party...that shit is intense...150 people...all of them crazy and Cuban and slightly drunk...
SK8: Yeah, you're right. I waited a year and a half before bringing Mike (shout out to you Mike, one of the few cool kids at ND) home to meet them.
Sarah: SK8, Mike met your parents last year...oh...you meant before meeting my family. I thought we went over this...you're not really related to me...

See, total family envy. (MY NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY IS GOING TO ROCK BTW!)

Roscoe Oglesby

Sarah's dreams strike again...

I had a dream that the Union was hiring someone new for a new made up position. No one had told me about the position, the interviews, or the person so in my dream I look down at our Union board Meeting Agenda and get really snippy with everyone. It was funny after I woke up. Anyway, damn Union...you already own my life, stay the fuck out of my dreams! Please?

Pirate name!

Your pirate name is:

Captain Mary Rackham

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!