These are some typical things my non-boyfriend and I say to each other:
Me: "Your hot tub has the hiv." (hiv rhymes with shiv)
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Him: "You look like Claire Huxtable."
Me: "Whatever. She was a successful attorney, and you have moccasins on."
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Me: Well many people assume that Charlemagne was a Merovingian but I'm pretty sure he was a Carolingian
Him: Given the state of our society, I think more people are likely to assume that Britney and Madonna used tongue
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Mind you, I was talking about his apartment's hot tub and I am not a middle-aged black woman so I don't look like Claire Huxtable, but sometimes I think back to the things we say and I wonder, "Who ARE these people?"
Sadly, it's us, and sometimes we say things in FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE. We should really practice silence, like monks. People think they're meditating but clearly they are just avoiding the inevitable LOOKS OF SHAME people give you when you say ridiculous thing.
Meanwhile, he looks back at our conversations and says things like, "We should TOTALLY have our own reality show."
And so...this is a close as we get to reality television. Which is nice, because cameras and PMS probably would end badly for someone involved...probably Him.
