Crazy Blondes

“I know I look stupid when I tell people I want to have babies. They tell me that my boyfriend is 80 and that he has two other girlfriends.”

So I was watching the Playboy Bunny reality show, The Girls Next Door. It is so unbelievable. It’s just like bad VH1 TV, you HAVE to keep watching. Today’s episode was about Holly planning a baby shower for a former Playmate. I guess you could say Holly is the queen bee of Heff’s three live-in girlfriends. She’s been around the longest and strangely enough has this weird propriety thing going on…anyway she wants to marry Heff. As in Hugh Heffner. As in the man who has had more than one girlfriend openly for more than twenty years. AND SHE’S TALKING ABOUT IT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

I know we all have our weird delusions, I know I have mine, but I don’t tell anyone about them. Congratulations Holly, you just told the world that you think Hugh will marry you and give you a child. And the world also saw you drop the biggest hints in the world to him. And then, the world saw him ignore you. He’s been with you for five years. You want to wait three years so he can be done with the kids he has. HE WILL BE EIGHTY THREE. Come ooooooooooon.

Anyway, my other favorite moment of the show was at the baby shower. The girls kept giving the mommy-to-be little stuffed bunnies, which I guess is cute in a way. BUT THEN, someone says, “I hope that Victoria’s baby grows up to be a Playboy bunny.”

NO! NO! That poor unborn child…

STOP.

ANOTHER EPISODE is on.

Kendra is turning 21. That’s right, one of Hugh’s girlfriends moved in at the age of 20. And her mom and grandma and brother are around to celebrate at the mansion. The strangeness of this show is mounting.

Kendra’s birthday gift from Heff is a trip for the girls to Las Vegas. Apparently there are rules at the mansion that require the girls to lead a dignified life and so this vacation is allowing them to get away from all of their “responsibilities.” It’s just too easy to make fun of that. What is even better though is that Holly is the one that is supposed to keep everyone in line on the trip.

They’re Playmates.

What is the fun of being Hugh Heffner’s girlfriend if you can’t live the luxe trashy life? They have a curfew when they’re home for goodness sake!

ANYWAY, I’m done.